How can you argue with this logic?

Preston:  Are there people who drink alcohol that live on Earth?
Mel:  Yes.
Preston:  Well, who makes the alcohol for them?
Mel:  I don't know.
Preston:  Well, I think Laban makes the alcohol for people because he was drunk when Nephi found him, so he likes it. 

I want to hold your hand!

While driving home from Costco, Avery and Preston were arguing about who got to hold my hand.

Preston:  I want to hold your hand.
Avery:  No, I want to hold your hand. 

I sang, "I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and.  I wanna hold your hand."

Preston:  That's not a real song.  You just made that up.
Me:  No, it is a real song. 
Preston:  Then who wrote it?  (He thinks every song is by Uncle Matt.)
Me:  The Beatles.
Preston:  The beetles?  But they're just bugs.