Thursday, May 22, 2014

Goofy Did Nosy Nosy

I don't think Sadie gets what her dad does. She keeps talking about "engine ears." 

Sadie's favorite thing at Disneyland was seeing Goofy. She kept talking about how he gave her a hug and did "nosy-nosy" with her, which is an Eskimo kiss. My least favorite thing was when Carter pushed the wheelchair. I didn't need it the whole time, but I didn't have enough energy to walk every day, so after a whole day of walking, I would need to use it the day after. I have thirteen bruises on my shins. One is from Preston crashing me into something. One is from Bill crashing me. The rest are from Carter banging me into things.

I don't have great skin to start out with, but it has been even worse after starting my infusions. They lower my immune system, so it is fairly common for people to see a new breakout of cold sores, which my mouth and chin area was more than happy to accommodate. Then, all afternoon and evening a few days ago, I noticed a sudden-forming giant painful pimple. "Great," I thought, "just one more thing marring my incredible beauty!" I inspected more closely, only to discover that there was a stinger sticking out of it. 

"Poor Little Bunny Foo Foo. He got in way too much trouble," Preston said, as he stroked the rabbit skin. 

Some of Sadie's insults today, said in her most insulting voice, until she had to giggle about the thought of poop:

You peed in your pants. No, you peed in MY pants. You peed in Avie's pants!
You have giant skin! You're a giant skin guy!
YOU have to say sorry to Preston! I don't want to because YOU scratched him to say sorry!
You pooped your pants. You're a poo-poo mommy.
YOU can't have your own chocowate because you're naughty. You're a naughty pants mommy.

People have told both Bill and me so many times that Sadie has the cutest voice ever. We hear it pretty much anytime we are in public or around people. Well, it's a lot cuter since she went swimming on Wednesday night. The chlorine must have irritated her throat because it has been scratchy sounding ever since. Even her tantrums sound cuter!

Books and movies are frequently written with child characters by authors who appear to have never had children or been around children much. I always see kids who are ten times more mature than my kids are, and I feel frustrated. Book kids and movie kids are so responsible. Book kids and movie kids do their chores quickly instead of fighting for hours about something that will take them ten minutes to do. Book kids and movie kids don't spend the whole day talking about bodily functions and scaring their little sisters by pretending to be monsters. They also don't teach the toddler that princesses have pink toot clouds or to say "Winnie the Poop Bear." Book kids and movie kids make their moms breakfast in bed and clean the house as a special surprise. They also don't cry about having to make a Mothers Day card.

Then I see my friends' kids, and I realize that they are only twice as mature as my kids, and I feel a little better. 

Me: Sadie, why are you all wet?
Sadie: Because I am.
Me: How did you get wet?
Sadie: Because I did!

Me: Sadie, get off my foot.
Sadie: Cause it's a swing!

A Sadie train of thought speech that I loved from a few minutes ago:

"Where does Heaveny Father wiv? Does he wiv in church? He does wiv in church. And he wivs in Heaven. I wivved in Heaven when I was born. And I was with you, Mommy! And Ewyse was with me, and her mommy. And we went on a walk together. But her mommy wasn't there. And is her daddy Uncoh Matt? And I was there when I was born. And Heaveny Father was there. And I wearned about songs at church. And you were there! And Daddy! And Presty! And Avie! And Carter, too! And I didn't want Carter to go to scouts today. I wanted him to stay here with me. And I went in the tunnoh with Carter. And we got wet in the sprinkohers. And it was a tunnoh. Do this (meaning for me to tickle her forearms) to my arms now. And my other arm."

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Bug Bites and Magnum Infinity Bars

Sadie: I have two bug bites. One is big, but one is wittow. Oh, wook at the wittow one. It's so cute!

Carter made a hot pocket for breakfast the other day. I wish I had taken a picture of his first bite, the moment he realized that it was a meatball one instead of bacon, egg, and cheese. He was so grossed out, then really upset because he had made the hot pocket in the first place because he had woken up late and didn't have much time for breakfast. I think he ended up taking a ziploc bag full of dry cereal with him when his ride got there a minute later.

Sadie woke up this morning because she heard the kids going out the door. She was so upset and cried, "I want Avie! I miss her! I want Carter to come back home! I miss him! I miss Presty!" It was probably worse because she didn't get to see them at all or say goodbye when they left. 

Magnum Infinity Chocolate. Best ice cream bar ever, especially if you like dark chocolate and can't have anything with nuts or corn syrup. Probably the best even if you can have those things.

Yesterday, the kids came home from school at 3:18. I was just waiting for them to come home so I could take a shower because Sadie hadn't cooperated all day to let me sooner. Carter said, "Mom, my Celebration of Learning is today." I asked him when it was. "It's at 4:00." I think I responded with, "Aaaggghhh!" I then called Bill to tell him he had to leave work that second so he could be home in time since I can't drive. I also talked to the nicest lady ever who had offered to pick Carter up so he could be there in time. I then took the fastest shower ever, got dressed, dried my hair so it was mostly straight but damp enough to still be frizzy, put makeup on, and yelled at the kids many times to get themselves ready. We were ready and waiting in the car at 3:50 when Bill got home. I know other people might not think that it sounds like a miracle, but to a lady who usually has to take breaks between each little thing when getting ready, it sure felt like a miracle. I may not have done anything else that night after we got home. And I may not have been up to getting out of bed much today, including for Avery's Celebration of Learning. I promise I love all my kids equally, even if I do not go to their different events equally. 

And here is my usual getting ready schedule: Shower. (Take a bath if I am too tired to stand long enough for a shower.) Rest for an hour or two. Dry my hair. Rest for twenty minutes. Scrounge up some chocolate. Put half of my makeup on. Rest for ten minutes. Finish my makeup. Rest again. Realize what a bad job I do on my makeup when I can't see out of one eye. Eat some chocolate to feel better about my bad makeup. Feel too worn out after all that work to actually go anywhere. Eat more chocolate. (We have church at 11:00 right now, and it is really hard for me to make it on time. Luckily, pretty much anything else I would be getting ready for is in the evening, and it's rare to go anywhere because people don't invite me to many things lately, and our kids don't have that many activities.)

Sadie: Mom, come find me. I'm pwaying hide and seek. I'm on your wegs. Come find me. You can't see me. 

She is not very good at hiding, but she loves it when I find her and tickle her. She also went "tick or treating" all over my house the last few days, which really just involved her dumping out the Costco sized bag of Hi Chew candies and putting them all over the house in different containers. I have found them in her tea set, in her doll bed, in a Barbie purse, in a sock, and in three different shoes. Bill found some in her doll carrier and in some little buckets. We've only recovered about half of the bag. I look forward to discovering where the rest is hiding. 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Burps and Superhero Moms

Sadie: My wegs has pokadots on it. See? (Goosebumps)

Sadie: I burped. It was a smaw one. And it was tasty! (She said this one right after breakfast.)

Later that same day...

Sadie: I burped a wittow. It was a big burp, and it was NOT tasty. (Afternoon snacks must not be as sweet as her breakfasts.)

Sadie: Mama, did you burp?
Me: No.
Sadie: Oh, I didn't burp. See? (She waited for some kind of response, but I didn't really know how to answer that.)

Bill: Mommy's a superhero.
Sadie: I'm not a superhero. See? I don't have a cape on. Where's your cape, Mama?
Avery: Mommy's a superhero who just sits in bed.

I'm not a superhero kind of mom. I do have lots of help from other mothers to even be any kind of mom at all. Thank you to all the moms who help me with my kids. Thanks to the moms who drive my kids to school, to different activities, and back and forth to their houses. Thanks to all the moms who let my kids come into their homes to play and for homework projects. Thanks to all the moms who teach my kids at school and at church. Thanks to all the moms who lead scout groups and who help out with extracurricular activities. Thanks to all the moms who have helped me out with meals or cleaning or watching my kids when I have been unable to take care of it all. Thanks to all the moms who are my friend. Thanks to all the moms who give me books to read. Thanks for all the moms of my kids' friends. I appreciate that their friends are being taught to be good people. Thanks for my own mother and my husband's mother. (I laughed that autocorrect changed that to "husband smother" when I accidentally missed a space between the two words.) Thanks for all the mothers who are a good example to me, those who help me want to be a better mother. Thanks for everything you do to help me be a mother. I have a deep appreciation to all of you and to God for blessing me with all these amazing mothers in my life. 

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Picnic Pillows

Sadie: My hair is aw shiny and cwean. It wooks nice, and it is so soft. (She scrunched her nose up.) Your hair doesn't wook very good, Mommy. It's aw messy.

My nephew brought his dinner plate inside to us. They had been having a picnic in the backyard. "I'm sorry, but I just didn't want to finish all of the pillow. I just don't really like to eat pillows very much." He handed Bill a plate with everything gone except for most of the hot dog pillow, I mean bun...

After their picnic, Sadie and her three year old cousin were kind of disgusting. I gave them a bath together. I heard my niece say, "Hey Sadie! Your bummy matches mine!" Sadie solemnly replied, "Yeah, it does..." 

We are going to Disneyland in less than a month. The first time I measured Sadie, it looked like she was about 39". I was thinking that, with her shoes on, she would be able to ride all the 40" rides. I measured her again and realized she's really only about 38". I started thinking about ways that we could make her appear taller. I even looked at shoes that would make her appear taller. Then I started thinking about why they have the height requirements. I do want her to be safe. I also realized what it would teach my children if they saw me going out of my way to break rules and being dishonest. Once in while, I hate having a conscience. I hope she still has fun missing those rides. Or maybe she will grow an inch before we go, although, if that happens, they won't believe she is under three and should get in free. She is already taller than lots of three year old kids and quite a few four year old kids.

About a week ago, I was trying to explain to Sadie about the rides at Disneyland. Since then, she is sure that there will be "princess bikes" that we will ride. If those are the only rides she expects, it is no wonder she is more excited about the beach.

I made all the kids try on their swim suits to see who needed a bigger size and who would be okay with last year's model. Bill thought it was weird when he came home to four kids wearing swimwear, two of them with multiple suits layered. I am not trying mine on. I will just assume I need a new one even if I have been the same size for two years, which isn't that different from how I have been most of the past nine years.

Sadie somehow loves Baby Bop. She has asked to watch Baby Bop shows almost every day the last month or so. Yesterday, she sighed, "I wish I could go to Baby Bop's schoo. I never went there before. I want to go to her schoo. It has wittow trampoweens." Another sigh as she imagined the joy of going to Baby Bop's pretend school...

Bill does not text me very often. I appreciated the one I got today. "You would laugh so hard if you saw my hair right now." He knows me well. I am very appreciative of funny messy hair. I frequently laugh when I look in the mirror in the morning, especially if I have gone to bed with wet hair. And that's what happened the other day when Sadie commented about my hair.