Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Mom's Weird Doorbell and Grass Skirts

My mom sent me an email, and this paragraph made me laugh.
"Several electrical things in our house have been going berserk. The garage doors don't close right, the computer's been weird, and the tv, but the weirdest has been the doorbell. When you push it, it won't ring. But then randomly out of the blue it will ring by itself. Even in the middle of the night. And it doesn't just play the regular ding dong ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. It has played, Glory, glory hallelujah, Please don't let this feeling end, shave and a haircut 10 cents, and something else."

I know what you're all thinking.

Ghosts with a sense of humor.

Also, Preston wanted to know if I was going to get a grass skirt to wear when I go to Hawaii next week.  I told him that people don't just wear grass skirts there unless they're dancing hula or something.  He responded, "Why?  Because it's illegal for regular people to wear grass skirts?" 

What do you say to that?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Carter is Eight!

We have a rule at our house, new this year, that anytime someone whines, they have to clean up ten things.  Hopefully, it will help lessen the whining as well as helping us have a cleaner house.  I'm thinking our house should be spotless by now, between the kids and me...

We are sick.  (Yes, I already know that I will have to clean at least a hundred things once I am better enough to move.)  Really sick.  Some of us were sick all week.  But we had a little miracle happen.  We were somehow better Friday and Saturday, for Carter's baptism.  We woke up today sick again, but I am so glad that we were able to make it to his baptism and feel well enough to actually enjoy it.  I almost cried during his baptism, but the urge to laugh helped counteract the crying.  You would have laughed, too.  Bill never thought to go over with Carter what would happen when they were in the water.  So, Carter ended up pinching his nose and squeezing his eyes shut the whole time, way before he needed to.  Definitely the funniest baptism that I have ever seen.  My brother was shaking with laughter next to me.  Somehow, my little nephew Nathan didn't notice.  He said, "When Carter got baptized, I feeled really special."  I'm glad. 

Plus, how did I get old enough to have an eight-year-old?  Just wondering.

Another good thing.  We have so many leftovers that we don't have to worry about meals for a couple of days.  And the kids are making their own lunch.  I'm glad, because I don't think I could walk all the way to the kitchen right now, and Bill is passed out, like he has been the whole day.  (I know, ten more things to clean up once I'm better,)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Skinny Jeans 2

Preston:  Mom, is there really such a thing as skinny jeans?
Me:  (laughing) Yes.
Preston:  Do you have some on?
Me:  No, I don't really like them.
Preston:  But are you wearing some right now, and that's why you're dizzy?  Because you have SPS?
Me:  What is SPS?
Preston:  It's Skinny Pants Syndrome. 
Me:  (laughing again) What does that do?
Preston:  It makes you dizzy and stop breathing and so you can't feel your legs.  I saw it on Sonny With a Chance.  And is that why you're sick right now?
Me:  No, I can feel my legs.  I just have a cold or a flu.
Preston:  Oh, that's good, because SPS makes you go potty in your pants because you can't get them off.

Sick Day

Carter, Avery, and I are all home sick today.  It's awesome.

I don't want Bill to feel left out of this blog, and I keep laughing in my mind every time I think about a comment he made a few years ago.  We had returned to my parents' house after attending my ten year high school reunion.  My mom and sister were asking how it went and how all the people were doing, etc.  At one point, Bill said, "Melissa looked better than 95% of the people there." 

a.  There were probably at least ten percent of the people who looked better than I did, so it was an inaccurate percentage.
b.  What five percent did Bill think looked better than me... you know... his WIFE?

Carter also sometimes get left out, but eight-year-olds can say funny things, too.  Like the other day.  I fixed his hair, and he said, "Mom, I don't really think my hair looks good like this.  This kind of hair only looks good if I had a beard."