Saturday, March 28, 2015

Blind or Paralyzed?

I love when Sadie makes up her own songs. Here's part of one from the other day. "I know Jesus is so rea-oh. And he's so friendwy, and he wuvs me so much. Pwease don't take my Jesus away."

Would you rather be blind or have your legs paralyzed? I probably won't get a choice, and one day I'll probably be both, although maybe not with all the advances that are still in testing right now! So, of you had to choose, which would you rather be? What is your reasoning? Right now, even though it's hard this week to not be able to walk, I think I'd probably choose to have my legs paralyzed. I'm frustrated to not be able to move, but I would adjust to not walking and using a wheelchair, etc. to get around. I may not see quite well enough to drive, but I can still read and see my family, and I don't want to lose that! 

(Update since I forgot to finish writing the post before: I got on steroids really quickly, and I am getting better way faster than I have in the past. My aunt had told me that starting steroids right at the beginning of a relapse makes a huge difference in how fast she gets over her relapses, but the previous times, everything was just so slow getting processed that I hadn't been able to start on steroids until I had been having problems for weeks, so it took months to get better the other times.) 

Sometimes I make jokes about not being a full capacity human, and it's sort of true. I'm tired all the time, way beyond what's normal for a tired mom, which I also am. I don't get much done around the house except laundry. I can't drive anywhere. I'm too tired to fix my hair very often. I can't exercise at the moment, so the only things working at full capacity are my jeans. I forget that while I may not be able to function at full physical capacity, I still have full value as a person. It's hard to get over the mindset that I'm only worth as much as I accomplish. I never think less of other people who can't do things, but I almost always think less of myself for not living up to my own expectations. I need to remember that God doesn't have the same expectations. He just expects me to do my best, whatever that is. I already know these things, but I'm not very good about actually implementing these thoughts and feelings. I need to be a better example to my kids of having a good attitude more of the time. I think they've seen my cry too much the last couple of weeks. I'm blaming my mood on the steroids and possibly not having enough chocolate, specifically chocolate cake. Also, spring break is not much fun when we are stuck at home! 

Vacation planning always gives me energy, so as you're answering the blind vs. paralyzed question, also give me ideas for vacations. You get two suggestions each, one family vacation idea and one couples vacation idea. If you are the first person to suggest the idea we pick, I'll send you a $10 Amazon gift card.