When Life Gives You Lemons....

Looking back, I don't know if it was the raging pregnant lady hormones or the nausea or the continual "Hmph!" and "Urghh!" sounds coming my way that did it.  It started out like any other Sunday morning.  I woke up and thought, "Gasp, Carter has to give a talk today in church, and he hasn't even started on it, and church starts in less than an hour!"  I rushed out, frantically looking for the little red paper with his topic for his talk.  "Carter!  You have a talk to write, and there's not very much time, and you're not even ready for church!"  Well, I finally found the paper, helped him find some resources, and left him to write his talk.  (We make our kids write their own talks, or at least help write the talks if they are too little.)  By this time, I was feeling very sick because I had hurried around so much and hadn't eaten breakfast yet.  As I was eating, I kept trying to help him come up with ideas, give him suggestions, etc., trying to get him to start writing his talk.  He would not write anything down, kept saying that my ideas were dumb, and several times a minute said a loud "Hmph!" or ""Urgh!" at me.  After half an hour of this, I could not take it anymore.  My anxiety was high.  I was sick.  I was hormonal.  And he just kept making those irritating noises at me.  So I did it.  I threw three lemons at him.  We had waited too long to pick these lemons, so they were a bit soft.  And they spattered everywhere.  And I'm not a very good aim.  I think only one of them hit him.  (Don't worry, it didn't hurt him.)  He looked completely shocked.  You know, I'm not usually a maniacal lemon-thrower.  Anyway, Bill finally came out and took over.  I think he sent me to my room.  Carter wrote his talk in five minutes, and I think it went well.  There's even one lemon left.  Maybe I'll make Carter a glass of lemonade tomorrow after school.

Unless he "Hmph"s at me. 

Like Bill says, "When Mama gives you lemons....

"DUCK!"

I'm so sick...

These are like "Your mama's so fat..." jokes, except they're true.

I'm so sick....I can't even look at chocolate.
I'm so sick....I turned off a home makeover show right before the big reveal because I couldn't stand the sound of it.
I'm so sick....I can't even read all the books I have waiting for me to read because reading makes me have motion sickness.
I'm so sick....I just change from one set of pajamas to another after taking a shower.
I'm so sick....Cafe Rio doesn't even sound good.

Okay, tell me yours.  Either from when you were pregnant or just really sick.  Nothing gross.  It would make me sicker....

Mothers' Day Presents

Preston made me a book.  There were many fill in the blank statements.  Here are some highlights.

My mother is very....cute...
She is...31...inches tall.
She weighs...20...pounds
She has...blue...eyes.
She has...brown...hair.
The food she likes best is....chocklot...
Her favorite color is....red...
Mom helps our family by.... cleans the house and shops at the store....
My mom's favorite food is...broccoli...but she doesn't like...(I have no idea what this one is supposed to be)...
The thing my Mom likes to do for fun is...read a book and play with me...
My mom smiles when I....clean my room, make my bed, and do my chores....
If Mom could have one wish come true, she would wish for.... more sleep....
My mom is very special to me because she...makes lunch....

Carter gave me a top ten reasons that he loves his mom. 

I love my mom because she reads me.... cool books.
I love my mom because she helps me ....clean stuff.
I love my mom when she makes me laugh by ...tickling me.
I love my mom because she taught me how to.... talk.
I love to hear my mom sing ....beautiful songs.
I love my mom because she finds time to .....spend with me.
I know my mom cares because ......she told me she does.
I know my mom is smart because she....is gifted a little.
I love my mom because she works so hard at...cleaning the house.
I love my mom because she's the best mom ever.

Okay, number one, our house isn't that clean, so I don't know why both kids talked about me cleaning the house.  Number two, broccoli is not my favorite food.  Cinnamon rolls are my favorite.  Number three, I probably would wish for more sleep. Number four, Avery would never agree that she loves to hear me sing beautiful songs.  She will still only let me sing the nothing song.  If I sing any other song, she tells me that I am bugging her really bad and to stop right now.  Number five, Carter also gave me some coupons.  I wonder if he'll actually let me redeem them.  He said, "I will not accept them on Sundays because it isn't good to work on the Sabbath."  Maybe tomorrow....

After the kids all gave me their presents, Bill told them that the littlest kid hadn't gotten me a present.  They were all confused until Avery finally figured out he was talking about a kid that was not yet born, one that is currently making me very sick.  Preston said, "Mommy, we all gave you a present, but that must be our present from you!"  Carter said, "Is it okay if I use my x-ray powers to figure out if it's a boy or a girl?  I've never been wrong yet.  Except about Aunt Becky.  I didn't know she was having twins."  Avery said, "I only want a girl."