Saturday, March 28, 2015

Blind or Paralyzed?

I love when Sadie makes up her own songs. Here's part of one from the other day. "I know Jesus is so rea-oh. And he's so friendwy, and he wuvs me so much. Pwease don't take my Jesus away."

Would you rather be blind or have your legs paralyzed? I probably won't get a choice, and one day I'll probably be both, although maybe not with all the advances that are still in testing right now! So, of you had to choose, which would you rather be? What is your reasoning? Right now, even though it's hard this week to not be able to walk, I think I'd probably choose to have my legs paralyzed. I'm frustrated to not be able to move, but I would adjust to not walking and using a wheelchair, etc. to get around. I may not see quite well enough to drive, but I can still read and see my family, and I don't want to lose that! 

(Update since I forgot to finish writing the post before: I got on steroids really quickly, and I am getting better way faster than I have in the past. My aunt had told me that starting steroids right at the beginning of a relapse makes a huge difference in how fast she gets over her relapses, but the previous times, everything was just so slow getting processed that I hadn't been able to start on steroids until I had been having problems for weeks, so it took months to get better the other times.) 

Sometimes I make jokes about not being a full capacity human, and it's sort of true. I'm tired all the time, way beyond what's normal for a tired mom, which I also am. I don't get much done around the house except laundry. I can't drive anywhere. I'm too tired to fix my hair very often. I can't exercise at the moment, so the only things working at full capacity are my jeans. I forget that while I may not be able to function at full physical capacity, I still have full value as a person. It's hard to get over the mindset that I'm only worth as much as I accomplish. I never think less of other people who can't do things, but I almost always think less of myself for not living up to my own expectations. I need to remember that God doesn't have the same expectations. He just expects me to do my best, whatever that is. I already know these things, but I'm not very good about actually implementing these thoughts and feelings. I need to be a better example to my kids of having a good attitude more of the time. I think they've seen my cry too much the last couple of weeks. I'm blaming my mood on the steroids and possibly not having enough chocolate, specifically chocolate cake. Also, spring break is not much fun when we are stuck at home! 

Vacation planning always gives me energy, so as you're answering the blind vs. paralyzed question, also give me ideas for vacations. You get two suggestions each, one family vacation idea and one couples vacation idea. If you are the first person to suggest the idea we pick, I'll send you a $10 Amazon gift card. 


  1. Dang this lost my huge idea comment....OK for the family...Cub River Ranch in Pocatello or Mesa Verde Colorado (4 corners area) I really loved hiking in the Anasazi dwellings. (Good bookstore too!) Couple dates are different for money so what about staying in the Pirates Room at the Anniversary Inn...You could play the buxom captive to the marvelous Captain Bill! =O) We did little family day trilobite digging in Millard County, dinosaur bone discoveries in Vernal, Topaz Interment Camp site and museum.....and lots of mines, ghost towns, and even went to Mona to see the Young Living Farm. Get away dates are usually with my guitar or mandolin, a bit of music...and hiking boots and Marley. Just a couple of nights with no TV, phones or noise. Also low budget. Family idea: Riding horseback up Blacksmith Fork Canyon with a guide....I think Cub River Ranch helps set that up. We love exploring Utah and are planning some rockhounding and ghost town trips for Fri-Sat get aways. Also, May 30? I think around that Fort Buenaventura Park in the local Bluegrass Festival. Mountain Heart will be there...they are super musicians.

    On my guitar this week I am working on Paul McCartney's Black Bird.....I hope I can learn it although my brain seems to be slowing down!

    I love you dearly and glad you are my friend. I wouldn't care if I couldn't walk, but if I couldn't read or use my hands to play music I would need a padded cell.....Maybe LITHIUM. And if really needed me, I come pick you up and take where you need to go. (without Marley). Thanks for your posts, they always make me laugh...

    1. Bill plays Blackbird sometimes, and I try to sing along, but I'm horrible at the key he knows it in. It's made for an alto or tenor part.

  2. PS....You lovely woman you are a full-capacity person. I measure you in love and kindness and I don't see you lacking. But I do understand feeling inadequate at times. Maybe you need another blessing? Love you bunches.