Friday, September 25, 2015

Joke Contest

Some of the symptoms I have experienced at one time or another because of MS:

1. Numbness (sometimes minor, sometimes debilitating)
2. Weakness (like I have the muscles of an infant and the body of a sumo wrestler)
3. Vision Loss (not complete blindness so far)
4. Extreme Fatigue (most of the time, just like when I have a newborn, but sometimes it's worse)
5. Paralysis (usually it's just partially paralyzed legs, but a couple of times almost completely paralyzed)
6. Slurred Speech (I promise I don't drink, even though it sounds like I'm drunk!)
7. Cognitive Issues (a little dazed and confused)
8. Tremors (I never know if it's an earthquake or me!)
9. Heat Intolerance (can lead to any of the other symptoms if I'm too hot)
10. Head Flops (it's got to be the proper terminology)
11. Spasticity (A two hour massage is never enough even for just my back, not to mention my sometimes claw hands or all the rest of me!)
12. Random Pain (usually feels suddenly like I broke a bone and lasts a few seconds up to many hours)
13. That can't be all, but I've forgotten everything else. Cognitive problems, remember?

Anyway, I don't think everything is bad all the time just because I can't teach my kids how to do a proper amazing back flip on the trampoline anymore. I do sometimes need a little reminding about the funny things in life, so I hope you can make a good joke out of one of the above topics. In fact, let's make it a joke contest. Submit in the comments a good MS joke. I make up my own all the time, but nobody thinks I'm as funny as I think I am. The winner gets a $10 Amazon gift card. I hope there are lots to choose from. I'll pick a winner sometime next week, probably close to the weekend, so get thinking of your best jokes. 


  1. I'm no good at jokes, but I think your kids should be taking advantage of the head flops. They could get you to agree to anything, especially when accompanied with the slurred speach one.

    No, occiferrr, I'm not drunk, I can usually walk a straight line, well, sometimes.

  2. "Mom, can't you see this? Don't you like it?"

    Your head flops as if a yes, but you can't see it because you're blind.