A New Lullaby

Avie sang a new kind of lullaby yesterday.  She called it a love-a-bye.  It went something like this

Go to sleep my little one.
Go to sleep my precious little bear.
Go to sleep my sweetheart.
Close your eyes and go to sleep.
If you don't go to sleep,
You won't get any food,
And not even any fish sticks....

True or False?

I was teaching my kids what "false" meant, and I gave them a whole bunch of sample true or false questions to answer.  I don't usually say manipulative trick questions, but this time I asked, "True or False?  I am skinny."  My boys quickly yelled, "FALSE!"  "So, you guys think I'm fat?"  "No, Mommy, you're chubby."  "I'm chubby?" I asked, with a slightly hurt tone.  "Well, you're just a little bit chubby," one boy said.  "Yeah, just kind of chubby," the other agreed.  Well, that makes me feel better that I'm only kind of chubby in the eyes of my kids.  I guess there's no point in trying anymore.  Bring on the cinnamon rolls.  And the chocolate chip cookies.  Really, bring them over. 

The Mysterious Baby

Avery came into my room with a wet washcloth.
Me:  Where did you get that?
Avery:  From my room.
Me:  Who got it wet?
Avery:  I don't know.  It wasn't me.
Me:  Well, go ask the boys how it got wet.
Avery:  I can't remember.
Me:  Did you get it wet?
Avery:  No.  Maybe it was a baby that came to our house and somebody holded up the baby to the sink to get it wet.
Me:  ???
Avery:  It WAS a baby.  But I don't know the baby's name.  Maybe somebody was going to the store, and the baby gotted out of the car and came into our house, and then somebody holded the baby up to the sink. 
(a minute later)
Avery:  Mommy, what shape are washcloths? 

Trams

Last night, my four-year-old nephew was talking about going to the San Diego Zoo.  He said, "I hope they have a train there, or something like that."  I replied that I couldn't remember if they did or not but that I thought they did have a tram.  He said, "Is that the box that you buckle up in that goes on a zipline?"  "Yes.  How did you know about trams?"  "I saw it on Phineas and Ferb."  "Oh, on the one with Swinter?"  "Yes.  Trams go really high.  I don't want to ride in one.  No way.  It would scare me.  I would even be so freaked out!"

Other People's Kids Are Funny, Too

While at a friend's house yesterday, the older boys were bugging all the younger kids.  My friend told her son, "Stop playing fighting and war, and go play something else."  He responded, "I'm not playing war!  I just have to shoot this missile at Carter...." 

Funny People

When I was in college, everyone used to think I was so funny.  They used to like my Mexican man voice, which hurt my throat.  They used to like all my jokes.  Now I never really tell jokes.  I am way too tired.  I still think funny things in my head, but I rarely say them out loud; it just takes too much energy.  (I also am more careful because I don't want to offend other people, so I can't make fun of them....unless they're family....)  But at least I don't have to say the funny things.  My kids take care of that.

Avery and I went to a mother-daughter party.  We did little make-overs and pedicures.  I had told someone there that Bill didn't want Avery wearing mascara until she's twenty-one because her eyelashes are so long.  I put some on her at the party.  When she came home, she showed Bill her make-up.  Then she came to me, very excited, and said, "You were wrong, Mom!  Daddy didn't even get mad that I have make-up on!"

Preston has been having trouble being nice, but the other day, sometime after lunch, he exclaimed, in a surprised voice, "It's already after lunch, and I haven't been mean all day!" 

I called my sister today to see if they were coming over.  She said she probably would.  A few seconds later, the doorbell rang.  It was my nephew, who burst through the door and proclaimed, "We tricked you, Aunt Melissa!  We was being sneaky because we was already here when you called, and you didn't know it!"

We ordered a Phineas and Ferb joke book for the boys.  Their favorite one is, "Why was six scared of seven?"  "Because seven ate nine."  It was funny the first ten times they told it....