Thursday, May 22, 2014

Goofy Did Nosy Nosy

I don't think Sadie gets what her dad does. She keeps talking about "engine ears." 

Sadie's favorite thing at Disneyland was seeing Goofy. She kept talking about how he gave her a hug and did "nosy-nosy" with her, which is an Eskimo kiss. My least favorite thing was when Carter pushed the wheelchair. I didn't need it the whole time, but I didn't have enough energy to walk every day, so after a whole day of walking, I would need to use it the day after. I have thirteen bruises on my shins. One is from Preston crashing me into something. One is from Bill crashing me. The rest are from Carter banging me into things.

I don't have great skin to start out with, but it has been even worse after starting my infusions. They lower my immune system, so it is fairly common for people to see a new breakout of cold sores, which my mouth and chin area was more than happy to accommodate. Then, all afternoon and evening a few days ago, I noticed a sudden-forming giant painful pimple. "Great," I thought, "just one more thing marring my incredible beauty!" I inspected more closely, only to discover that there was a stinger sticking out of it. 

"Poor Little Bunny Foo Foo. He got in way too much trouble," Preston said, as he stroked the rabbit skin. 

Some of Sadie's insults today, said in her most insulting voice, until she had to giggle about the thought of poop:

You peed in your pants. No, you peed in MY pants. You peed in Avie's pants!
You have giant skin! You're a giant skin guy!
YOU have to say sorry to Preston! I don't want to because YOU scratched him to say sorry!
You pooped your pants. You're a poo-poo mommy.
YOU can't have your own chocowate because you're naughty. You're a naughty pants mommy.

People have told both Bill and me so many times that Sadie has the cutest voice ever. We hear it pretty much anytime we are in public or around people. Well, it's a lot cuter since she went swimming on Wednesday night. The chlorine must have irritated her throat because it has been scratchy sounding ever since. Even her tantrums sound cuter!

Books and movies are frequently written with child characters by authors who appear to have never had children or been around children much. I always see kids who are ten times more mature than my kids are, and I feel frustrated. Book kids and movie kids are so responsible. Book kids and movie kids do their chores quickly instead of fighting for hours about something that will take them ten minutes to do. Book kids and movie kids don't spend the whole day talking about bodily functions and scaring their little sisters by pretending to be monsters. They also don't teach the toddler that princesses have pink toot clouds or to say "Winnie the Poop Bear." Book kids and movie kids make their moms breakfast in bed and clean the house as a special surprise. They also don't cry about having to make a Mothers Day card.

Then I see my friends' kids, and I realize that they are only twice as mature as my kids, and I feel a little better. 

Me: Sadie, why are you all wet?
Sadie: Because I am.
Me: How did you get wet?
Sadie: Because I did!

Me: Sadie, get off my foot.
Sadie: Cause it's a swing!

A Sadie train of thought speech that I loved from a few minutes ago:

"Where does Heaveny Father wiv? Does he wiv in church? He does wiv in church. And he wivs in Heaven. I wivved in Heaven when I was born. And I was with you, Mommy! And Ewyse was with me, and her mommy. And we went on a walk together. But her mommy wasn't there. And is her daddy Uncoh Matt? And I was there when I was born. And Heaveny Father was there. And I wearned about songs at church. And you were there! And Daddy! And Presty! And Avie! And Carter, too! And I didn't want Carter to go to scouts today. I wanted him to stay here with me. And I went in the tunnoh with Carter. And we got wet in the sprinkohers. And it was a tunnoh. Do this (meaning for me to tickle her forearms) to my arms now. And my other arm."

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