Feathers and Moons

A few "good" ideas my kids have had this week:

Placing a full cup of orange juice in the freezer to "save it for later" after realizing it didn't taste that great after brushing my teeth. (Preston)

Crawling under every table, chair, bed, large toy, or furniture that exists in the house, then cry because I got stuck. Repeating exactly thirty seconds after being removed from the situation. (Sadie)

Dipping fries in syrup. (Carter)

Stealing my mom's fries. (Carter)

Admitting that my mom is actually really nice and funny and that I just tell her she's the meanest mom in the universe when I am mad. (Preston)

From our hike for scouts last week:

Leader: What should you do to protect yourself from the sun?
Carter: You could put dirt or mud all over you.
Leader: Or maybe sunscreen? And a hat?
Carter: I guess.
Leader: What could you do if it started raining?
Carter: You could cover yourself with grass.
Preston: You could put feathers all over yourself. That would work.
Leader: Or you could make a poncho from a garbage bag or something like that.
Another Boy: Where would you get a garbage bag?

My question is: Where would you get feathers to cover your whole body?

A conversation that my three-year-old nephew had with himself while I was watching him yesterday:

Q: What does (names every animal he can think of) say?
A: (Gives all the appropriate animal sounds)
Q: What do eyes say?
A: (Blinks)
Q: What do noses say?
A: (Sniffs loudly)
Q: What does the moon say?
A: Tra-la-la-la-la. I love you, my child.

Slamming Doors

With automatic doors in our van, our kids can't slam the doors when they are mad. But they can sure push those buttons hard, the buttons that close the doors.

That will teach me a lesson....

I have reached a new low. I used to be "the meanest mom in the universe!" Just yesterday I had that title. Today, I am "the meanest mom in the tri-state area!"

So I can't mistake how mean I am....

(And if you're wondering what made me so mean today, I think I said, "Preston, you can't wear your soccer socks today. They don't match your shorts.")

And I'm still laughing at the experience that inspired my post from yesterday. Doesn't anybody else think it's funny that Bill even had the opportunity to tell Preston that he wasn't supposed to be excited to see a dead cat?

Dance Parties and Dead Cats

Sadie tries to walk while we hold her hands. She takes one giant step with her right foot, and then she puts her left foot even with her right foot. She continues in this pattern.

I heard the following conversation today:

Preston: Ooh! Look at the dead cat!
Avery: Daddy said it's not okay to get excited about a dead cat.
Preston: You're a dead cat.
Avery: I'm not a dead cat.
Preston: You ARE a dead cat.
Avery: I'm alive. You're alive. Don't you get it? We're both alive.
Preston: No. You're not alive. You're a dead cat.
Avery: I'm talking to you. Of course I'm alive.
Preston: No. You're a dead cat.

I went to pick my kids up from a practice for a program at church. As I was leaving the building, I heard the radio turned on in the chapel, and several kids (ages 3-7) were having a secret dance party in the back of the chapel. I got the kids out and figured out how to turn the sound off. I did not, however, figure out how to change the setting back to microphone instead of radio. There might be a big surprise on Sunday....

Lights Out on a Saturday Afternoon

Most people see Bill as a mild-mannered guy, a good husband and father. What they would never suspect is that he is a big time money launderer.

$13.75 in one load!

I couldn't find Carter a little while ago. I finally looked outside. He was across the street jumping on the neighbor's trampoline with no shirt on, with the sprinklers spraying him, yelling, "Oh yeah!" Classy.

Oh yeah, and the neighbors are out of town.

Just kidding. Their kid was out there, too.

At about the same time, I found Preston down in the basement. He had closed all the blinds and turned the lights off. And he had wrapped himself in a black cape and was lying on a futon pretending it was a coffin. He said he had to have all the lights off because he is a vampire. I think he was lying there for twenty minutes. How is that fun?

Additional Conversations Today

Preston: I know why we have to burp Sadie after we eat. Because if we don't burp her, she will just feel sick from all that milky air in her tummy.

Avery: Mom! I have the best idea! We should try to make water popsicles sometime!
Me: You mean ice cubes?
Avery: Oh yeah.... Well, we could put sticks in them sometime to see if they taste good that way....

Carter: (with no breaths between sentences) I want to go outside to play basketball. But I can't play basketball. Every time I try to play basketball, the bees try to sting me. But they don't try to sting other people. Why don't they try to sting other people?

Avery: Where's Daddy?
Me: Yo no se.
Avery: What does that mean?
Me: I don't know.
Avery: But what does it MEAN?
Me: I don't know.
(a few minutes later)
Avery: Oh, were you telling me that it means I don't know?

A Few Random Thoughts Today

If I don't know where Sadie is, she is usually happily cleaning my kitchen floor.

I was just looking at a fall magazine while I ate my breakfast, and I thought, "Am I the only person who doesn't like the way wreaths look?"

We saw a sign yesterday saying, "Del Taco, coming soon!" How is that place still in business, let alone opening new ones all over the place? I am not a Del Taco expert, but the two or three times I have eaten there, it has been really gross. Really REALLY gross. Maybe we just had bad luck and it's not usually that bad?

As I dropped the kids off at school today, Preston said, "Mom, can you please come inside this morning." I replied that I didn't really want to go inside in my pajamas. "But Mom, I really want to show Sadie the tarantula!"

Gross.

My kids seem genuinely surprised when I don't know the answers to their questions. "Mom, what's the difference between a storm trooper and a clone?" I have no idea. "Mom, how does the microwave work?" Ask Daddy. "Mom, what does Sadie dream about?" No idea. "Mom, how does some people's hair curl?" Don't know. "Mom, how will that lady fit through that door?" Not polite, no idea. "Mom, what's a google?" Ask Daddy. "Mom, what will Sadie's first word be?" Probably mama or dada or ball or something like that. "But WHICH one will it be?" No idea.

I think she did say mama a few times. And more. And button. And wee-wee-wee. (But it's still early and hard to tell if she actually is saying words or just babbling.)

Avery has been practicing fixing hair lately. It is cute. Her hair is not quite as cute....