Real Superhero

I had about a hundred things to write about. I have been laughing so much the last few days. But the last few minutes, I have had a broken heart just thinking about my cute funny grandpa that is not expected to make it much longer. He is just the kind of person who is a true inspiration. So, here is a sad, sort of funny story about him. Hopefully, I get the details right.

My parents went to visit him one day. He was living at an assisted living home about a mile from their house. His Parkinson's disease was affecting him quite a bit. He often had angels visiting him or telling him where some money was hidden or other such things. Well, this day, when they came to visit him, he had been terrified that someone was coming to kill him. He had hidden, or tried to hide, behind a couch in the front room. Quite a feat for someone who lost the use of one arm in WWII as well as being lately confined to a wheelchair. He was back in his room by the time they arrived, and he was very upset about the guys who were coming to kill him. My dad asked him why anyone would want to kill him. He answered that it was because he had killed so many people. My dad asked if he had killed these people in the war. He answered that when he was in France, he didn't shoot anyone; he just shot into the air because he didn't want to kill anyone. So, he let them shoot him instead. My dad asked, "Well, when did you kill all the people?" He said, "With my laser eyes. I look out that window, and I kill everyone who is driving by. They keep getting into wrecks. I've killed thousands of people with my laser eyes."

Funny. And sad. Nothing like the guy who came close to winning the doubles ping pong championship of 2002. They beat two other teams only to lose to my awesome husband and his wife. Nothing like the guy who used to cheat at basketball in his driveway. Nothing like the guy who taught me how to butcher meat, thus ensuring that I would never look at raw meat again. Nothing like the guy who showed me that old people can still laugh at bodily functions and potty humor. Or the guy who always took out his teeth to freak us out. (Preston did try those teeth on once, when they were sitting in a cup in the bathroom.)

Preston has some posters in his room with heroes like George Washington, Joseph of Egypt, and Captain Moroni. The posters say, "Who's your hero?" He wanted a superhero room, and I didn't just want Marvel comic superheroes. I wanted real men that he could look up to.

But my grandpa is a superhero to me and to all those who have been blessed to know him. I can imagine him having super powers, like laser eyes. So, the next time someone talks about laser eyes, I will be thinking about the thousands of people that my grandpa killed and wondering how the government hushed the whole thing up so well. Maybe Preston needs one more poster.