Camping Outfit

I forgot earlier the whole reason I started to write a post. No, it wasn't about Sadie going all the way into my bathroom, grabbing my glasses, and taking them into the kitchen to throw them away. My nearly $500 glasses. Luckily, my husband caught her just in time and dug them out of the trash. And no, it wasn't to complain about how many times a day I have to flush the toilets in the kids' bathrooms, even though they are six, eight, and ten years old. At least four times a day, sometimes much more, if you were wondering. And I wasn't going to write about Sadie and her young cousins finding so much joy in playing with the bath toys... in the toilet. Gross. I wasn't going to tell you about Avery writing her love songs and trying to sing them while playing the guitar. She doesn't know how to play the guitar. Or sing. At least not on pitch. But man, can she write a mean love song! Disney should hire her for all their teen singing sensation shows. It's probably where she gets her inspiration. No, I was going to tell you about being chubby.

We went camping last weekend. It was really cold in the mornings and at night, so I had on about six layers of shirts and sweatshirts and jackets. I looked a bit on the round side, and my outer jacket was red. Preston looked at me when I came out of the tent and said, "Well, helloooo Santa!"

Beef Jerky

Carter: Can we sell our wii and get a wii U?

Me: Nobody would buy it.

Preston: (very indignantly) Who? Who wouldn't buy it?

Me: Um...

Things Sadie did today all within just a few minutes:

Dumped over two cups of water, one of them onto herself.

Stole marshmallows.

Stole rice and tried to bite through the package.

Ate Carter's cereal, tried to dump it over.

Asked for "dirdee, a piece of bee dirdee?"  And handed me the bag she stole from the pantry. (Beef jerky)

Dumped my purse out.

Dumped her cereal out onto the floor.

Tried to dump a box of cereal out, but I sent an older kid to the rescue just in time.

Bit the outside of a grapefruit.

Dumped a bin of clothes out and tried to put everything into her dresser even though they were the wrong size clothes.

Threw plates into the air over and over.

Threw a cup into the air over and over.

Put pasta on the carpet, pasta with bright red sauce.

Threw a fit about marshmallows.

Unloaded the dishwasher, the dirty dishwasher.

Thank goodness she still takes naps. I need a break from all her business. 

Fathers' Day was Today?

Sadie got to go to Nursery at church today. She loved it when my friend started blowing bubbles. One landed on her mouth, and she told me, "Bubble kiss ma mouf!" Then she kept saying, "Bubble kiss mouf," over and over and touching her lips. 

I had some black beans on my plate after dinner. I was so confused when Avery came and sat by me eating a handful of black beans. Then I realized they were chocolate covered raisins. She couldn't stop laughing about my confusion.

It's a sad day when your eight-year-old grows out of the size 2T/3T belt. That day was today. It's been a few months since we took the underwear that size out of his drawer. It still fit him then. He was wearing some shorts last week that seemed way too short but fit him just fine around the waist. I looked, and they were 4T. And he has the biggest head in the family. Cute little bobble head dude.

My six-year-old is the opposite. She had a shirt on today that kept showing her belly. It is size 10. They are less than an inch apart in height. Preston is very offended when anyone suggests that they might look like they could be twins.

I took all the kids to church by myself while Bill waited a couple of hours to be seen for his terrible sinus infection. I think my kids are the worst behaved kids there. And poor Bill. He didn't get the best Fathers' Day today. The thing I ordered him isn't even here yet, and he cooked his own dinner.

Bill is a softie when it comes to Sadie. Somehow the kids talked him into getting a giant stuffed dog because she liked it so much. And he gives her a bottle at bedtime because she likes it better than a sippy cup. And it's cute because she still cuddles with things while she drinks bottles. This bottle that she is drinking right now is taking her forever, and she has cuddled with a belt, clean laundry, a hard musical instrument, and a Kleenex. 

Carter at Eight and Ten

Me: Carter, have you brushed your teeth yet?

Carter: No, but I've almost done it.

Carter: Daddy said I got a zit.

Me: Yep.

Carter: It really hurts. It must be really hard for you having so many all over your face lots of the time.

I was just looking over a report from some testing Carter had in second grade. Here is an excerpt that made me laugh. "Carter reported that he sometimes thinks about other things than what is being taught in class. When asked to describe this, Carter replied, "Sometimes I'm bored, and I have to figure out what to draw, like make a plan to figure out what to draw." This is consistent with parent and teacher reports that Carter sometimes draws on his schoolwork rather than completing it."

Another funny excerpt. "Carter told the examiner that she should consider getting a piece of paper with a red circle on it, so that people taking tests can just touch the red circle when they do not have an answer for the item. Carter reported that this would be nice for test-takers to have, as he "feels weird" telling the examiner "I don't know" for an item. This insightful comment shows emotional maturity and awareness that is impressive for an 8 year old." 

I guess it was mature that he was feeling bad that I must be in pain from my acne, but I never want to be reminded of it. Then I start thinking that is all people see when they look at me. Hey, I have lots of wrinkles, too! Comment on that instead. I have worked hard for those. And my six or seven gray hairs. And the tummy that hangs just a bit over my tighter pants. It is hard work eating all those pastries and chocolates. Recognize me for all that work instead of a gift I never worked for or asked for! 

I have to go to bed, and I have already almost brushed my teeth. 

Fun in Paris

When I washed off my makeup tonight, I had no mascara left to wash off. Here is why.

1. We were on a train this afternoon when a girl suddenly jumped up, threw her phone, and screamed. So I jumped up, too. There was a huge bug crawling on her. My brother killed it for her. It is still funny when people freak out in French, even if I don't know what they are saying. My sister-in-law could not stop laughing, which usually makes me laugh more, even if I had previously thought I was finished with the laughter. Plus, when the bug crunched loudly, the girl's eyes rolled around, and she looked like she was going to puke. Even funnier. Plus, I realized after the bug was dead that I was still standing up. On my seat.

2. My mom couldn't find her train ticket later when we were getting off at a different station. The door would not open without a ticket, so my dad opened a door going back in, wanting her to come through that way. She didn't understand quickly enough what he wanted her to do, so by the time she came through, the doors smashed her. So she stepped back. Then the doors opened back up, and she just stood there for a minute while they were opened, looking totally confused. She finally decided to go back through, but she was too slow, so she got smashed again. 

3. On the train, my brother and I simultaneously burst into laughter. It is fun when there is someone who laughs, and I know exactly what absurd thing he is laughing at without having to talk about it. Even if it is just my mom chewing her gum really weird for a second. Too bad I only get to hang out with him about once a year. And that I have to come all the way to Europe to do it. 

4. We were having a family prayer tonight. It started out so well. Then, my brother said, "Please bless us to have good health. And please bless.... our feet..." Well, if you know him, you know that he laughs at inappropriate times, when he is performing in public, during prayers, during serious moments, etc. and once he starts the laugh that he is trying so hard to stop, nobody else can stop either. Except my dad. I only remember him laughing about something like that a couple of times. Anyway, he and his wife and my mom and I did not have a very reverent prayer. And I hope we still get blessed to have our feet stop hurting. Because we are going to have a rough time at Disneyland Paris if they don't get better!

You wouldn't have mascara left on either.