Monday, June 9, 2014

This is Serious, Folks!

This is just a small request from me. I love all my friends and family, so I don't want anyone to be offended by this request. The majority of reactions and comments about my life with MS are meant kindly, and I honestly appreciate that, but they pretty much always convey pity or sympathy. It is not the hardest disease to be dealing with, but I already know the difficulties that I have. The pity and sympathy give me the sense that others feel I am incomplete somehow when I can't walk or see, that I am less than when I can do those things. We always try to teach our children that people with sickness or disabilities are not less because they can't do something. When I'm in a wheelchair, strangers frequently speak to me like I am five. I'm glad my friends don't do this!

So, here is the request. If you are able, try to make light of my disease rather than expressing that pity or sympathy that you feel. It is a lifelong disease, and I will pretty much always have some problems, so I can't waste time feeling sorry for myself, and neither should you! I always appreciate a good joke anyway, even if it is at my expense. Plus, I will get enough of the pity from all the people who don't read my blog, which is most of the people I know!


  1. I LOVE when people are straight forward with how they want to be treated (no matter what the issue). Thanks for letting everyone know it is ok to be lighthearted! I am so glad I ran into you at Disney! Thanks for calling my name!

  2. my question is, how are you at wheelies - have you perfected them yet? oh - and do your kids have races to see who can push you the fastest? ;) if you lived in wrongmont i would mock you until you wet your pants. :)

  3. Hi Melissa, I'm catching up on your blog. Your kids say and do the funniest things. I love it! Thanks for sharing. And I love to hear what she says. It is so cute! And most importantly, thanks for this post. I never know what to say in these tough situations and usually I try the sympathetic route. It's just what I know how to do. I don't feel comfortable making light of an illness that I know I would really struggle with. It is so helpful to see your perspective because it is helping me to understand. Thanks for verbalizing something that would be so hard to communicate to others you love.
    What you said made sense. You're trying to deal with this with a good attitude, you're trying to rise above it. You know your circumstance doesn't change who you are. And when others express sympathy it makes you feel like they think you're less of a person because of your circumstance. Am I right? I guess I could just cut and paste what you actually said:) but what I'm trying to do is learn. Thanks for helping me learn!