Gum and Goats

Carter: It would be so awesome if I was a goat.

Avery: Why? All you could do is ram other goats.

A conversation I overheard at church today:

Cute two year old girl behind us: I wish I had some gum.

Sadie: We don't have any gum. Sorry. My mom said it's awe gone.

Girl: Oh, do you have some candy?

Sadie: No, I ahready gave you some. It was your wast piece.

Girl: Okay. 

If your bishop is your chiropractor, you might feel guilty when you pop your back or neck in church or if you even contemplate such an action. You might wish you were sitting in the back instead of front and center. Not that I would know anything about that... (I am at least 95% sure that he doesn't read my blog, but he already knows about my stiff-neckedness, so it's not really a secret.)

If you have read my blogs over the past year or so, you know that I always seem to have trouble walking when I go to Costco. I don't know what it is about the store that sets off weakness in my legs. I also wonder if other people shopping who feel so impatient with my slow walking would say as many rude things if I was an elderly lady instead of a young(ish) mom. Bill said it reminded him of the super slow traffic that we were getting frustrated with when we were in vacation in Hawaii several years ago. When we saw that the person causing the slowdown was an old man riding a bike with no pedals, pushing himself along with his one leg, we felt horrible for getting frustrated. I am sure that most people would be more understanding if I was wearing a shirt that said, "Please excuse my slow walking because I have an illness that causes my legs to be sort of paralyzed some of the time as well as making me super tired and frequently weak, numb, and abnormally dizzy. I also can't see you if you are on the left side of me. Plus, I have a bunch of kids, so that in itself pretty much explains any deficiencies in my body, mind, or character, and it also explains the twenty pounds of chocolate in my shopping cart as well as the extra twenty pounds in my booty, which I have already been informed is jiggly."

Stop judging, people. Stop judging people. For any reason at all. Your judging hurts YOU much more than the person you are judging. (I am speaking to myself here as well, but did you see my use of caps to emphasize who suffers the most damage when we judge others?) Don't judge anyone else. Ever. Unless they are different from you. Then I guess it's probably okay to judge them...

I went shoe shopping a few weeks ago. My sole purpose (Get it? SOLE purpose...) was to find some sandals that were both cute and comfortable without being grandma shoes. I even verbally stated this goal before going. Yet, somehow, I came out of the store with one pair of sandals that were the Easy Spirit brand. My first grandma shoes! (Well, kind of my second pair because of hurt feet in Paris five years ago, but I won't go into those weird shoes.)

When your two year old kid comes into the room with no pants or diaper on, the situation quickly would become less funny when you realize that her cute little bum is covered in poop. Also, sometimes this situation could happen about the same time that your little niece pees on your floor in the basement. You would probably be glad that you have a carpet spot cleaner, but you would probably feel frustrated that you have to use it. At least, that's what I think would happen if you were to find yourself in that situation.